Villainy: http://www.elfwood.com/art/c/r/crisortega/image129.jpg.html 

Lies: I'm not impressed with Hades. He looks like a frat boy, not a god.

Villainy: *snickers*

Villainy: Oh, come on. I wouldn't call that frat boy

Villainy: Emo, maybe

Lies: He looks like "Huhh? Whaaa? Where's the booze?"

Villainy: No, he doesn't 

Lies: Yes, he does.

Villainy: He looks like "Behold my tortured soul! I weep! ...Ooh, hey, boobs."

Lies: Is $3000 worth killing me?

Villainy: *cough* I mean... I would be too depressed by your death to take advantage of the money

Lies: I highly recommend putting half of it into a CD or other long-term savings.

Lies: But go wild with the rest! Buy strippers! Mourn me with attractive boys thrusting their packages at you.

Villainy: *snickers*

Lies: There better be some mourning, though. I demand tears.

Lies: And possibly a child named after me.

Lies: Jesus's hair looks a bit like a penis.

Lies: http://www.museumsyndicate.com/item.php?item=12850

Villainy: *looks at you*

Villainy: *cleans out gutter*

Villainy: *wipes off brain*

Villainy: *sticks it back in your head*

Villainy: There. That's where your brain is *supposed* to go.

Lies: Awww.

Lies: "Anal-analingus! Anal-analingus! Looks like chocolate, tastes like poop!"

Villainy: .......

Villainy: VAGINA DENTATA! What a wonderful craze!

Villainy: Somethingsomething line I don't remember!

Villainy: It's a PENIS-FREEEEE girl CAVITEEEEE�

Lies: I told my roommate about the free samples I got and she said "See, this is how people become those hoarders you see on those shows where they have to stand up and say 'I'm a hoarder and I have a problem,' and people go in their houses and there's shit everywhere and it's scary and you don't want to be this sort of person, because you won't throw it away. I know you. You'll say 'I don't like the cookie now, but perhaps I'll like it in a few weeks...' and you'll put it away and then..."

Villainy: Lies, dear? Have you been sneaking crackrocks into your roommate's cereal again?

Lies: No, she came this way. Isn't it great?!

Villainy: I like how they make Cosmopolitan and InStyle and Elle and all that seem cultured and educated by labeling them "Women's Interest"

Lies: Mmm. Fair point.

Villainy: And he didn't have a gross dead deer or something on top of his truck, which I qualify as a good thing

Lies: I noticed your typo - you clearly meant to say delicious instead of gross. I understand. The keys are like right next to each other.