Lies: Is $3000 worth killing me?

Villainy: *cough* I mean... I would be too depressed by your death to take advantage of the money

Lies: I highly recommend putting half of it into a CD or other long-term savings.

Lies: But go wild with the rest! Buy strippers! Mourn me with attractive boys thrusting their packages at you.

Villainy: *snickers*

Lies: There better be some mourning, though. I demand tears.

Lies: And possibly a child named after me.